Monday, October 13, 2008

Synopsis = #$^$^#$*%$#@#$

The Aftermath courtesy of mr. rich

Really. I'm trying to write the dang thing. I thought the query was tough. Piece of cake compared to the synopsis. And I know why I don't like them. Remember book reports. I hated book reports when I was in school.

I always won top honors for reading the most books, but my grade always suffered because of the stinking book reports we had to write. I can even remember saying, "Why do we have to write stinking book reports? It's not like we'll have to do book reports when we grow up." Ha! Little did I know.

Where's the Cliffs Notes for my novel when I need it? Oh wait, I would have to write it, wouldn't I.

A fellow critiquer (thanks Tom) sent me a link to mystery, suspense, thriller writer Lisa Gardner's website where she has a online lecture Conquering the Dreaded Synopsis .

And it's a great link. Lots of great detail, but I'm brain dead. I read it and I know what I supposed to do, but gaaaaa, it just does not compute onto the page.

I know I need to introduce my characters, fill in the plot points and YES.... I know I have to tell the ending. But it sounds like a book report from junior high and no thank you Mr. Blevins for making me write them. Apparently you didn't teach me anything. You should have sttod over my desk and beat me with the book you were so handy at throwing across the room to get our attention. Sorry, I digress--that's a whole nother blog topic.
Back to the synopsis or rather the bad book report. It sounds like Susie did this and then Susie did that and then the bad guy did the bad thing and Susie ... Well, you get my drift. I'm usually not bad at transitions, but I know that's the problem here.

Yo, Lisa, wanna help a sister out? If you love writing the synopsis, how about you do mine? What's one more? I know you're a good sport or else you wouldn't have all the great stuff on your webiste for fellow writers. All you have to do is one, then I'll get the hang of it. I promise! I'm a quick study, but I need to see the real deal in print to be able to catch on.

I'll send you my outline and you whip out a synopsis for me. I'll be your BFF forever and I'll read all your books forever more and give you great reviews (wait that's kind of like a book report. What am I saying?) Okay, I'll read all your books and give you 5-star ratings.

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