Courtesy of TimothyJ
courtesy of LarimdaME
I'm headed for the finish line. Tomorrow will be a monster. After I get home for the gym, I'm locking myself in my office with a gallon of Diet Coke, a bag of pretzels and a Depends. Okay, a box of Depends. I'm not coming out until I hit 50,000 words.
My daughter gets in tomorrow night for the holiday. I don't want to have to write while she's home.
Friday is our annual "shopping bitches" day. (Don't judge us. I see you tsking.) We get out and elbow the crowds just like all the other crazed bargain hunters. Armed with coupons and cell phones, we sneak out of the house before daylight (lest we wake the dogs and then have to stop and take them potty.) It's really quite hilarious. I think last year, I forgot to brush my hair. And my daughter wears scrubs (probably the ones she slept in, but I'm not telling.)
Each car we pass on the way to our first victim/store, we high five each other, because it's one more carload of shoppers that we'll be in front of. If one passes us, we get out the gogo-gadget wheels and step on the gas.
One year, we arrived at Famous Barr (before they sold their souls, I mean before they became Macy's) at 5 am, to stand in line to get the $10 off coupon that they were giving to the first XXX customer. We were there in plenty of time. It was freezing cold and we were dressed in jeans and sweatshirts (no coats to weigh us down while we were shopping.) People were standing around bundled up in blankets and quilts. We could see the managers inside the store counting down to zero hour. We were well within the number of lucky people who would receive the coupon. Zero hour arrived, the doors flew open and two carloads of women pulled up to the curb, hopped out and elbowed their way to the front of the line.
I kid you not. Everyone was screaming at them to no avail. They got the dang coupons and we missed out by about five people. Stupid shopping bitches! We had probably passed them on the highway.
