photo courtesy of mrgilles
I know this post is probably going to draw some backlash, but that's never stopped me in the past, so.... have at it.
I have a dirty little secret. It keeps me awake at night, and I hate myself for it. I've tried to change, to be more open, but I just can't do it.
I hate open mic events.
You know what they are, right? Usually a coffee house setting, where people sit around and drink java or cappuccino or hoity toity tea and listen as amateur poets, writers or singers stand on stage or sit on a stool and perform. Reminds me a bit of Maynard G. Krebs in Dobie Gillis. Okay, you may be too young to get the reference, but it worked for me.
The thought of sitting in an audience listening to an amateur read his or her work sends shivers up my spine. I'd rather have a root canal. And I've had a root canal, so I know of what I speak.
I believe open mic nights are the literary equivalent of Karaoke, only without the alcohol. I kind of even understand Karaoke. Enough rum and Coke and I might even be persuaded to get out and belt out my version of I've Got You Babe. On second thought, I don't think there is enought rum in the whole world to make me to that.
There are generally a couple of types of people who read at those sorts of functions. The ones whose work is boooooring and they just like to hear themselves talk. So we, the audience, sit and twiddle our thumbs and pray for a power outage.
Then you get the ones whose work is really good, but they can't read worth a damn. Why ruin a good story by reading it aloud. Just pass me the paper and let me read it. That's how I absorb best anyway. If you are an open miker, I'm sorry, but it's just my opinion
Blame it on my childhood if you like, maybe my mother read to me too much or didn't read enough. Or school, blame it on my teachers and professors for subjecting me to hours of lecture. Or just blame it on me. I hate to be read to.
I love words. I love paper and I especially love words on paper.
So what do you think of